The Sea Inside is where the lightbulb is.
Relationship Mentoring
Suffering is inevitable and universal. It is part of the human condition. However, how we respond to it varies greatly from one human to another. Some of us can recognise our emotions, feel them and take responsibility for them. Others of us do not know how to do this so we avoid and repress them and blame ourselves or others for how we are feeling. Many of us learned from a very young age to disown our responses which effectively means we were not ourselves. In an environment where it was not safe for us to express ourselves we very cleverly pushed down our feelings deep inside of us and reacted or responded by behaving in a way that was required of us in order to get the approval and love we so needed.
As adults we continue these behavioural patterns often living from our heads and not from our hearts. Instinctually, as adults we know in our hearts that these behaviours are not ours, that we are not ourselves and we often search for something or someone outside of ourselves to fill the void. Relationship Mentoring is about coming back inside to unlearn these often intergenerational cycles of behaviour and to learn to reparent ourselves. As adults we have everything we need to parent ourselves.
We can find our way back to ourselves, to our own heart, by exploring our story with safety and love. In my work as a Relationship Mentor, I strive to extend an unconditional, compassionate and holding space as I accompany you as you discover that sea of emotions deep inside. I offer support and encouragement as you put your first toe in the water. In that discovery our true authentic self can emerge, that self that we can begin to know and love unconditionally, with all of our heart. From there, we can get to know and love others, our children, partners, friends and colleagues.
“You are not too old and it is not too late to dive into your increasing depths where life calmly gives out its own secret.”
-Rilke
Parent Mentoring
All parenting starts with self. That self that I write about here in the Relationship Mentoring section. When we are aware of our own feelings and emotions and when we have an unconditional loving relationship with ourselves we are in a conscious place to have an unconditional loving relationship with our children. Awareness is key. When we have found our own heart and when we are living from it, we can parent from our heart with unconditional love, respect, encouragement, patience, kindness and compassion. It all starts with us and ends with us. Parents FIRST is a big mindset shift but it is a life-changing one. Why? Because ultimately, modelling is how children learn and they learn from who we are not what we say. They learn by example.
Parent Mentoring is about helping parents to identify the blocks to their own relationship with self and with their children. These blocks manifest themselves in the defensive inner and outer behaviours experienced by parents. If you behave in such a way that your are riddled with guilt and shame afterwards, then the task is to identify what aspects of yourself lie hidden behind these defensive walls. Similarly, when children exhibit challenging (defensive) behaviours, the goal is to detect what needs of the child are not being seen and not being met. Our children’s challenging behaviours are not a deliberate ruse by our children to make our life difficult, they are to bring our attention to their life being difficult for them.
I work with parents on a one-to-one basis or with both parents together to identify these blocks within, and to deepen their heart relationship with themselves and their children. I also work with parents in a group setting through courses and workshops where they can explore their story together and share their experience as parents and learn from each other. This co-creational work is powerful.
This work translates to organisational parenting where I work with professionals working with their clients, employers working with employees or the other way around. Many employees have issues that they wish to raise with their employer but do not know how to do so.
SERVICES INCLUDE:
Relationship Mentoring for individuals, couples and organisations.
Parent Mentoring for individuals and couples
Emotional Wellbeing Workshops & Courses
Parenting Workshops & Courses
Organisational Wellbeing Workshops
Facilitating the negotiation of a Parenting Schedule with separated couples
Mindfulness for Children Courses
Mindfulness for Parents & Children Courses
“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love they bloom like flowers”
-Thich Nhat Hanh